Madge

A FEISTY IRISH BROAD WHO TACKLES LIFE'S LESSONS... AND PUMMELS THEM

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Madge is So Short… How Short is She?!

Madge is So Short… How Short is She?!

I’m short. I’m 5’2″. That might seem average to some women, really short for some guys, pretty tall for small children.

All I know is I can’t reach or see shit most of the time.

I can’t reach the top shelf at the grocery store if something isn’t right up front. I’ve caught people looking on in amusement to see if I start climbing the shelf or fall on my ass or what. Yea, thanks for you help there…

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Filed under height short arms short people T-rex top shelf

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What I Really Meant to Say Was “Get the Hell Away From Me!”

What I Really Meant to Say Was “Get the Hell Away From Me!”

I fancy myself as pretty direct. I try to give my honest thoughts without serving up a bunch of bullshit. Now of course it depends on the situation. There are some situations where it’s best to acquiesce and move on. You know like those involving bosses, police, parents, and a 6’4″ 300lb man with “Vato Loco” tattooed on his neck.

I should only weigh about 115 lbs with the fancy footwork I do…

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I Wish They Made Stick Figure Family Car Stickers Where Kids Have Big Brains and Integrity

I Wish They Made Stick Figure Family Car Stickers Where Kids Have Big Brains and Integrity

I’ve got a lot of things going on right now that I’m trying really really really hard to listen to the Universe so it can tell me what the hell to do. Remember that blog I wrote about listening for cues?  Listen to Where You’re Being Sent. Yea, I’m about to invest in a f*#kin’ hearing aid! I’m at some crossroads traffic is coming up behind me, I need to (as my feisty Irish Mother used to say)…

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You’d See The Business End of My Gun Rights if You Used the Term “Your Dead Kid” About My Child

You’d See The Business End of My Gun Rights if You Used the Term “Your Dead Kid” About My Child

Joe the Plumber (whom is neither a licensed plumber or actually named Joe) is an absolute piece of shit and everything that is wrong with America today… in my opinion.

Joe The Plumber: ‘Your Dead Kids Don’t Trump My Constitutional Rights’ To Have Guns

 

I have no designs on taking away anyone’s “rights” but you are a selfish opportunistic nobody who cares nothing about your fellow man. We need…

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I Don’t Like Insensitive People, By I Defend Their Right to Look Stupid

I Don’t Like Insensitive People, By I Defend Their Right to Look Stupid

Well it looks like I’m coming out of the closet.

Oh no honey not that, although you all know I frequent gay bars but it’s because I’m a hag not a participant. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, to quote Jerry Seinfeld.

Ok anyway, I’m coming out as a proponent of free speech.

See, I come from a long line of wildly rabid Kennedy Democrats. Yes, I am a bit left-leaning. In my youth I was…

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Filed under biggots censorship class of 2014 free speech gay rights LGBT racists transgender

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Listen to Where You’re Being Sent or How I Was Finally Useful Today

Listen to Where You’re Being Sent or How I Was Finally Useful Today

Someone asked for my opinion today. Ha! Who the hell would think that was a wise idea?

Well I guess it was something I had dealt with and they wanted to know my thoughts.

My thoughts actually provided an answer to this person.

What, what?!

I was useful. And the person helped me put into words the idea I’ve been trying to verbalize for a while. Well I mean I thought of other ways to put it, but…

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Filed under advice decision making God listening making decisions universe

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Don’t Tell Me How to Mother on Mother’s Day!

Don’t Tell Me How to Mother on Mother’s Day!

To all you Mothers…

Happy Mother’s Day!

This will be my first Mother’s Day without my Mom, she died 6 months ago. I miss her everyday. She was a phenomenal, feisty, loving little Irish lady. I’m not even thinking about me being a Mom this year and if my kids will do anything, I’m just missing my Mom. The first one’s always the hardest.

Me and mom

Me and my Mother celebrating her 80th birthday almost 8…

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Filed under bad moms celebrating children good moms Mother&039;s Day Mothers

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Mary, Missiles, and Marigolds: What the hell is May Day?

Mary, Missiles, and Marigolds: What the hell is May Day?

When I was growing up, May Day was very confusing to me. I have a bunch of symbols in my head that are linked to that day but I’m not really sure what was what.

First off I went to Catholic grade school and I remember doing a few things… making paper May baskets in class, making a May pole, and doing a bunch of stuff around the Blessed Virgin Holy Mary Mother of God. (I thought I’d through in all…

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Filed under Mary May Baskets May Crowning May Day May Pole Soviet Union Virgin Mary

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Are You a Sun-thriver or Night Owl?

Are You a Sun-thriver or Night Owl?

When I was really little, I’m talking about 4,5,6 maybe, I used to get up really early. So early my parents would tell me to go back to bed. I just wanted to watch TV. Eventually they said it was ok to go quietly watch TV in the living room. In the 60′s and 70′s there wasn’t a God damn thing on for little kids at 5 or 6 in the morning. There was no Nick Jr. There were 3 channels and you could…

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Filed under creativity daytime early riser night owl nighttime TV

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Man Takes High Dive with Detachable Penis in Hand

Man Takes High Dive with Detachable Penis in Hand

Rapper Andre Johnson severs penis, jumps off building, but survives

cnn

I can not make this stuff up, folks. Uh, that’s some nutty stuff… choppin’ off your penis than jumping off a building. Ok, it was only the second store but he had good intentions. How embarrassing is it though that he survived? Now he’s gonna’ take a whole lotta’ shit from his boyz.

Brings new meaning to the King Missile…

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Filed under Andre Johnson detachable penis drugs jumping mental illness penis rapper